she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
