David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
