It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
