I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize