"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
