After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
