And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Randomize
