Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
