my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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