I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
