After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
