i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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