i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
