the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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