I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
