This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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