Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
