I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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