So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
