their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
