you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This is my gift to your gina
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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