hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I could make wine with my vomit
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
