South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
