I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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