I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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