im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
