where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize