hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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