kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you had me at cake vodka
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
