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hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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