I'm going to jail i love you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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