I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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