ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
