ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
