how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
