thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
