She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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