I want to stick my p in your. b.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
