why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
