But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
