I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
