Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize