Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
