why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this will be a night to untag.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
