you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
