this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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