You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
