you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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