Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
