I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
