so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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