Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
