Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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