Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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