Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize