u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
