Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just threw up on my dentist
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
