we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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