They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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