What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
