so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
