It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
